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     04.19.14     via | source     10976
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     04.19.14     via | source     2013

iguanamouth:

last year one night me and my old roommates were all playing twister and mike was on the spinner and halfway through the game he kind of mumbled to himself “i sure hope im calling these right” and then everyone in the room simultaneously remembered that mike was colorblind

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     04.19.14     via | source     323209

twinkletwinkleyoulittlefuck:

cell-mate:

crackerhell:

ethanwearsprada:

i think it’s a universal truth that everyone in our generation takes pluto’s losing its planetary status as a personal offense

yes

pluto is smaller than russia. why did we ever even consider it a planet?

BECAUSE IT’S A PART OF OUR SOLAR SYSTEM

OHANA MEANS FAMILY

OHANA MEANS NO ONE IS LEFT BEHIND

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     04.19.14     via | source     356298

lindseybluth:

i hate spotify ads because i listen to playlists in the shower a lot and there is nothing more startling than being completely naked and suddenly hearing lebron james say “i’ll tell you what makes me thirsty”

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     04.19.14     via | source     27765
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     04.19.14     via | source     165532
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     04.19.14     via | source     2911

thepacificrimjob:

vanillastopbath:

thepacificrimjob:

back when i was in community college my teacher told us the story of a girl in his class who wanted to have sex with her boyfriend but they didnt have any lube so they used mayonnaise. fast forward a couple of days and she’s getting random orgasms during class and driving places so she goes to the doctor and they check her out and guess what they found

guess

okay ill tell you it was maggots. maggots were in her vagina giving her orgasms. 

image

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     04.19.14     via | source     86824
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     04.19.14     via | source     80365

haaaaaaaaaaytham:

starting a new video game in a familiar series and realizing that the controls are different than what ur used to

image

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     04.19.14     via | source     7082
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     04.19.14     via | source     72164

mybeautifulidiot:

*settles into bed with blankets laptop headphones a drink and everything* ahh yes perfect. I have to pee. 

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     04.19.14     via | source     123891

untilyourbreathingst0ps:

pearls:

pearls:

i touched a dick once and it was the scariest thing in my life because it had a really cold head and i don’t know it wasn’t fun

sometimes the ‘i’ and ‘u’ shouldn’t be so close on the keyboard 

ive seen this post umpteen times and ive always thought that if you switched u and i around it wouldn’t make sense like “u touched a” and i literally just realised you meant duck and not dick i swear to god i am the biggest fucking idiot.

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     04.19.14     via | source     247148
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     04.19.14     via | source     22949

fukkkres:

when ur eating dinner at your friends house

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and their parents start arguing

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and you want to ask for the salt

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but the salt is right in between their upcoming divorce

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     04.19.14     via | source     119968